sometimes i’m drinking something and i can feel it spilling on me but i just keep drinking because i don’t care about anything anymore
I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir
apparently teenagers need 10 hours of sleep a night to function properly maybe thats why i suck at everything
I think the creepiest thing in the world is what society has done to the word “daddy”
young son: [raises a hand to her]
mom: I know you aren't gonna hit me. God have MERCY on what I'll do if you hit me on this train. don't you ever hit women. that is NOT how I raised you, you know better than that. you wanna end up in prison when you grow up? then keep on hitting women, that's right where you'll go.
young son: sorry mama.
mom: that's what I thought.
go up to a guy in a fedora and say “hey I like your cowboy hat”
*flicks holy water at screen* evil spirits begone, the power of christ compels you
come back evil spirits i didn’t mean it
December 2013: maybe not.
So go find someone who fucks you right and treats you how you deserve to be treated.